Press pause and reflect on your health and wellbeing
Dr Loretta Poerio
Senior Mental Health Adviser
Department of Veterans’ Affairs
We are living in an increasingly uncertain, and sometimes hostile, world. The chronic stress these situations can engender, whether from personal, local and/or global events, can take its toll in a range of ways and can leave us feeling flat, overwhelmed and exhausted.
Taking a step back and reflecting on how we can care for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health and wellbeing, and support others to do the same, can assist in navigating these times with equanimity.
Focusing on caring for ourselves may appear selfish, but in reality it is not, and nor should it be seen as a luxury only for those who have time. To be there for others, we need to ensure we are okay too. Self-care enables us to accept and adapt to those things in life we can’t control and to make wise choices about the things we do have some control over.
It is important to remember that we all react to stress differently, so working out your priority areas for intervention and what strategies work best for you are critical. We need a range of tactics in the toolkit.
The first rule in self-care is to recognise what is happening within yourself. This sounds obvious; however, we are very good avoiders and absolutely fabulous at not seeing what is right in front of us. This is why family and friends can often be the first to notice when something is wrong, which doesn’t always go down well.
Self-awareness means listening to what our body is trying to tell us. Taking the time to ask ourselves some basic questions can help increase our self-awareness:
• Are my thoughts racing?
• Am I finding it difficult to focus?
• Am I confused or worried more than usual?
• Am I experiencing more tension headaches?
• Is my sleep disrupted, or am I getting too much or not enough sleep?
Perhaps you are feeling that people have become a lot more irritating lately, or you are crying at the drop of a hat. These are all signs that a reset is required. The important thing to understand is your signs and triggers. Noticing the signs early makes all the difference, as it is far easier to intervene early than to deal with the consequences once not-so-helpful behaviours become entrenched.
Many of us know at least some things that will help us keep a measure of equilibrium, such as sleep, exercise, good nutrition, relaxation, and meaningful and supportive social connection. The difficulty is, how do we find the motivation to put these things into practice?
Planning is key, along with starting small. One pitfall on the path to change is to take on too much in too short a time and then feel overwhelmed, exhausted and guilty at failing, yet again. Sound familiar?
When building a new self-care routine, it’s important to act wisely and choose to focus on one strategy at a time. It starts by picking one area you would like to focus on and having a clear understanding of what you are trying to achieve and why.
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. – C.S. Lewis
Motivation is key, as it provides the energy for self-discipline and commitment. However, unrelenting standards can be a red flag. Be realistic – expect and plan for lapses – they are part of the change process. It is important to have a plan, be consistent, review the ‘why’ regularly, and be patient.
As you are building your self-care plan, the following steps can be helpful to think about:
• Review your situation. List what is happening in different areas of your life – home, work, friendships, family. Why do you need to make improvements?
• Identify the stress triggers. Review the different stress triggers in your life and think about strategies you can put in place. (See websites below.)
• Prioritise one self-care strategy. Stick to one strategy at a time. Remember the goal posts can be very small. This will help in not feeling overwhelmed. Make a time in your diary for the task or involve a friend to help motivate you.
• Take small steps. Break down the task/ activity into small steps and commit to taking one at a time.
• Plan for roadblocks. There will be challenges and you will need to be agile. Plan for how you will deal with these events. Don’t be deterred by lapses.
• Schedule time to practise and review the self-care strategy. Even when you are telling yourself you are too busy, carve out a little ‘you’ time, even if you start with two minutes a day to just focus on noticing your breathing and slowing it down.
Self-care should not be an optional extra in our busy lives: it should be a critical part of our lives because we are so busy. It impacts how we feel about ourselves, the quality of our relationships and ultimately our satisfaction with our lives. Without a focus on our own health and wellbeing, we can’t do justice to ourselves or those we love. So, what will your next step to better health and wellbeing be?
For some strategies you can put in place, try the following websites:
• Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling ‘Self-help tools’
• Head to Health ‘Looking after your wellbeing’
• Black Dog Institute ‘Wellbeing resources and information’
• Beyond Blue ‘Look after your mental health and wellbeing’.