A little kindness can go a long way

Dr Loretta Poerio

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Dr Loretta Poerio
Senior Mental Health Adviser
Department of Veterans’ Affairs

As 2023 draws to an end, I thought it fitting to finish the year with a topic from the field of positive psychology, a subfield of psychology. Positive psychology studies those factors that contribute to the wellbeing and flourishing of people. It applies scientific principles to the study of human thoughts, emotions and behaviour that is strengths-based rather than illness-based.

Positive psychology seeks to improve the quality of life of individuals, institutions and communities and provides insights to answer the age-old question of what makes life worth living. Positive psychology not only focuses on studying strengths, values, and self-compassion, it provides tools designed to boost a sense of purpose and wellbeing.

A brief word on wellbeing here, as it is a tricky area given the lack of consensus on what it means. There is general agreement that basically it represents the ability to experience positive emotions, the relative lack of negative emotions, and a degree of satisfaction, fulfillment and positive accomplishment.

Given we are in the season of giving, I am going to look at the benefits of random acts of kindness, for ourselves and others, and how we can incorporate this activity into our lives. Now, some of us may not feel particularly giving, but it may be an opportune moment to take a step back and ask, When did I give of myself without expecting anything in return? If you come up blank, then it may be time to consider starting.

Random acts of kindness are activities that we undertake for the benefit of another, a stranger even, without expectation of anything in return.

These acts of kindness are generally manifested as an action or behaviour. It may be complimenting someone, helping a neighbour with their groceries, asking if someone is okay, doing the dishes, buying a colleague a coffee, saying good morning to people on your daily walk, giving a loved one flowers, or cooking a meal for a sick friend.

It may feel a little uncomfortable, at first, but the potential benefits to our lives, and those of others, are significant.

A recent Australian survey on common acts of kindness found that on average, Australians perform 16 acts of kindness every week (see What are the most common acts of kindness in Australia?). Interestingly, Australians indicated receiving much fewer acts of kindness (10 on average per week), which may speak to a lack of awareness of people being kind towards us. People noted three areas where they could be kinder:

  • Asking more frequently, ‘are you OK?’
  • Assisting people when they need a hand
  • Saying ‘Hi’ to people we see during the day.

The American-based Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has developed a range of tools and resources to promote kindness as a way of life. There are ideas for school, home and workplace, including a daily dose of kindness and newsletters which can be easily adapted.

What’s more, it is not only the receiver who benefits. Researchers have found that random acts of kindness can have a beneficial impact on our self-esteem and the way we see the world. A 2019 study found that people who performed acts of kindness for seven days saw a boost in happiness, with the level of happiness increasing as the number of acts of kindness increased. Other research has shown that regular acts of kindness towards ourselves can build resilience and enhance our wellbeing.

These acts can help you feel more connected with others, which helps strengthen a sense of belonging and can directly influence loneliness and improve relationships. – Diana Samuel MD

Acts of kindness can have profound effects on our body through the release of a number of neurotransmitters in the brain associated with feeling good, such as serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins. Regular practice has been shown to reduce experiences of anxiety, stress and depression and increase feelings of calmness, reduce blood pressure, improve heart health and increase our sense of connection and optimism.

By committing to undertaking random acts of kindness on a regular basis, towards ourselves and others, we have the ability to modify the brain to be more ‘kindness focused’ through learning, growing and modifying our neural connections over time. This is particularly important if there is a focus that is oriented to the negative, tending to see the worst in a situation.

Random acts of kindness is one tool in the positive psychology suite of tools that can help move you from good to great and engender a sense of optimism which, given the negativity of our media, may just assist to provide a glimmer of joy in your day and the day of others.

Kindness resources: