Recognising the signs of coercive control

5 October 2021

When you think of family and domestic violence, verbal and physical abuse are what usually comes to mind. However, there are other forms of violence where the abuser does not have to lift their hand, yet it can still be as detrimental and have long-lasting effects on a person’s life.

It is important we understand that anyone in the community can perpetrate violence, just as anyone in the community can experience violence. The Family Wellbeing Study (2018) found that abuse by a partner in the veteran community is similar to the rest of the Australian community.

What is coercive control?

Coercive control is a type of domestic violence where an abuser demonstrates a pattern of controlling and manipulating behaviour designed to intimidate, isolate and control a person¹. This creates an unequal power dynamic in the relationship, giving the abuser greater power over their partner, making it difficult for that partner to leave.²It is often a process that happens slowly over time and can be nuanced, making it difficult to identify.

What are the signs? How to recognise coercive control?

The following are just a few examples of coercive controlling behaviour:

Isolation: Cutting off or limiting contact with family and friends, so a supportive network is lost.
Denying freedom/autonomy: Controlling freedom of movement and independence. Some methods include not allowing the survivor to go to work or school, restricting access to transport, stalking or confiscating phones.
Gaslighting: Abuser twists a scenario to make themselves right and will force the survivor to question their own memory and apologise.
Financial control: Abuser withholds or limits access to money to restrict the ability to leave the relationship and making the survivor financially dependent on the abuser.³
Monitoring: Wanting to know the survivor’s location and whom they are with, calling/texting them excessively, placing cameras/recording devices around or tracking movements with GPS software.
Body control: Dictating the survivor’s clothing, diet and physical presentation. Extreme cases may involve controlling sleep and medical care.
Jealousy/Possessiveness: Abuser might constantly accuse the survivor of cheating on them, making them feel guilty about spending time away from them or not allowing them to attend social events.⁴